Blurred Lines

i’m disappointed that you’re only concerned now (10pm) that its a convenient time to be concerned.

So the conversation went like this:
me – this is one of the most difficult situations i’ve ever had to deal with. So despite you saying you are so concerned, i’m disappointed that you’re only concerned now (10pm) that its a convenient time to be concerned. I’d have appreciated you being concerned when you woke up this morning. Knowing that I’d probably stared at the ceiling, worrying for most of the night.
you – of course I’m concerned. I just said that I am. I’ve been thinking about it all day.
me – well perhaps you could have told me that. How can I know that you’re concerned if you don’t bother to tell me. I heard from you at midday in response to my text.
you – (hand gestures to the sky and much sighing) you’re being ridiculous! I always text you first. So I did’t text you first this morning and now you’re having a go? I replied. Does it matter who texts first?
me – now you’re confusing the issue. I’m not talking about who texts first. That really is ridiculous. But the last 24 hours have been so traumatic and stressful for me. I’m simply saying that I expect you to get in touch and to want to be there for me. Show care!
you – You know I care. How can you be so bloody ridiculous. You’re picking a fight now.
me – (fighting back tears of frustration) I’ve had enough of this conversation.
you – me too. Talk tomorrow.
Tomorrow
you – (11am and not too early enough to look keen) how’s it going?
me – (2pm and late enough to say ‘I’m still annoyed’) I’m busy.
you – (6pm) I’m not feeling too great. Had a huge row with my (not quite) ex. Upset, angry, frustrated……the subject has been changed.
The next day
me – so how’s it going? Did you get anywhere? Did you tell her that you won’t be injecting anymore cash into her laze around fund? That you won’t be walking yourself up her proverbial garden path this weekend by having that face to face discussion that will lead to dinner and drinks and later a guilty cash transfer after all?
you – yes i definitely won’t be going there. that would be a very bad idea.
me – yes I know that. But its the very bad idea that you thought would be a very good idea until last night. It was even your suggestion. I mean, can you tell me why you ever thought it was a good idea?
you – I don’t think its a good idea.
me – But you did until I said I didn’t think so. So why was it ever?
you – Did I tell you how excited I am about the next picture I’m going to paint? From that amazing photo of the lightning strike I took the other day?
me – yes you told me three times yesterday.
you – I think its going to be fabulous. Im going to do a series. The first canvas will be enormous and flanked by two smaller ones on the same theme. I’m so excited. I’d love to have an exhibition. I have these three paintings in my head and I really feel sure I can get 7 (at least) together for an exhibition by September.
me – (silent. Gremlin in my head). Here we go again. Are you ever going to deal with this? (aloud) Thats great darling. Sounds good.

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