Scent & Compatibility

That moment you inhale their essence for the first time.

Drink in the odourless perfume,

Emitting scent signals beyond the mask of visual cues.

The sink or swim of compatibility, wafting by.

Perfume

Dun

Sudoku, faut cu

Thats really all I can write.

Police phares calling

My mind is falling

Failing.

Gaslights burning

Stomach churning.

How to explain

The pain.

I talk about reflecting

But I’m dun with it.

Sista’s fecked it.

Im tired of this confusion.

Dun with your pollution.

This ain’t love.

Scrabble you say?

F*ing take it away.

Take your fake sudoku intellectualism

And stick it up your twisted chism.

Bonne nuit.

Bonne vie.

Dun.

Narcissus

Bloodsucker.
Inhaling the energy from my core,
Diverting my focus to your war,
Against honesty and care.
Fuck your rancid morals.
Lie alone in your self-serving lair.
But you won’t, will you….
Unmasked, but not startled,
Prince charming will simply resurrect,
Cast his ravenous eye to the next page,
Waltz his chosen victim into the golden cage,
Liposuction her very persona,
Entrap her with mirrored desires.
Its bile.
Parasite.
Ive wasted years feeding your empty soul,
Thinking my care could somehow lift you from the cold,
Believing your momentary lapses of verity,
Belied a tortured faith in sincerity,
Where there is none.
Nada, nothing, rien.

Authenticity

The world is askew, said he
Tis you that ain’t true, said me
Let me wallow, he berated
In the lies I have created
Follow blindly behind me
Allow me to deceive you kindly
Gently caress your needy soul
Destroy you from the inside
Charm you into the black hole
Le vide
One plus one equals three, said he
I’m so sorry, I can’t see, said me
Boring correctness, he debated
Unlike the jazzy truth I have created
Skip blindly aside me
Permit me to guide you to the edge
Air-kiss your ailing soul
Beguile you on the outside
Push you into the black hole
Le vide…….in which we hid a while
Serendipity nudged me awake
Not the night terrors
Not the heart tremors
Not the crushing deception
Not the all consuming grief
Walk with me, said I
For I shall empower you with my faith
Reveal the ecstasy of authenticity
Of autonomy
Extract you from the black hole
La joie
The world is as new, said he
Tis you who’s chiming true, said me
Let me wallow, he meditated
In the truth we have located
Authenticity

18 Summers

18 years since I glimpsed you for the first time
18 years since you made me a mum
18 years of grappling with my own mortality
18 summers since I’ve loved you until I’m numb
I weep as I write this to you
Remembering the tension of that day
Hearing the doctor muttering about oxygen
Before they whisked you away
I’d no clue what was normal
Reality, momentarily on pause
I just absorbed the oddness
And lay there in my silent bubble of noise
You were returned to me, eventually
And I recall wondering, how I should know you were mine
Our eyes met and I loved you
So began the rest of time
The rest of time has been a rollercoaster
You’re a challenging old soul
I wouldn’t change a hair on your head my darling
I just want you to survive through the cold
The cold that has often enveloped you
Though your radiant warmth pulls you through
My pain is that I can’t do it for you
Still I shadow your every move
I love your kindness
That you notice intolerance.
That fairness matters to you
That you are true
I love your courage
In the face of your difference
Though I see your pain in solitude.
I wish it could be easier for you
18 summers since I first met you
18 years of showing you my way
The stage is yours now my angel
Lead me forward to your next day.

Me Me ME

Does it matter that I pretended not to see?
Though I saw
Haven’t the strength to save the world every day
What about me?
But my gracious right eye wandered
I saw
Have to focus on my own woes
Keep my bogey man at bay`
Does it matter that he saw me look away?

Fay’s Story

There was once a little girl named Fay
She was gracious and kind in every way
With her flaming red hair
She attracted more than one stare
As she quick-stepped through the passage of childhood.
As she blossomed through school and beyond
Fay struggled at times with le Monde
Her sweet nature betrayed her
And fed her bounty to that charismatic stranger
Blind to the mask, she strode on.
When she awoke to the truth, Fay was thirty-one
Browbeaten, confused and a mum
Despite a decade of devaluation
She kept schtum for fear of humiliation
And crawled into a private pit of ‘make-do’.
Submission, Fay learned, did not curry favour
It just fuelled verbal aggression and sulky behaviour
In the interests of the kids, she could take it
Until the day she understood they wouldn’t make it
She knew.
So she ran, that young woman named Fay
Still gracious and kind in every way
She began her new life
With no-one calling her ‘shitty wife’
She’s dancing again, is flame-haired Fay.